Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I'm really not that bright.

I must be some kind of a**hole. I know, like I know my name, that when my "sleep hygiene" sucks, so does my mood and my MS. But then, I stay up until 12:30 a.m. (like I did last night) when I have an 8:30 a.m. appointment the next day and go to bed without picking out the kids' clothes or packing lunches. Then, I snooze for 90 minutes and finallly get up at 8am because my body doesn't care that I think I can get by on 6 hours. I end up rushing around like a headless chicken, wondering why my kids can't get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, and get out of the house in 15 minutes. I was an ugly, mean mommy this morning. The ugliest and the meanest. I think I should get a prize or something. I was, of course, late for my (obviously) much-needed counseling appointment. And, now, at the end of a physically taxing day working from home on the couch, my legs and hips feel like I ran a marathon. And just when I was feeling so close to normal, too. FU&%.

So, I've decided that, although I find routine boring, the reality of my life, as a single mom with MS, is that I need one. Badly. I need to make a schedule and stick to it. So far so good tonight. I made lunches after dinner, had the kids pick out their own clothes, gave them baths, got Zane in bed, picked out my own clothes, and packed my own lunch. Now, I'm waiting for Ruby to finish her homework so I can read to her and send her to bed by 8pm. Then, I'm going to stay on the computer until 10pm and no later, get in my jammies, and go to bed to read and/or watch TV until 11pm and no later and set the alarm for 6:30 a.m.

Ruby's ready. .

I'm back. My pre-sleep routine is continuing. Ruby is in bed. Zane is asleep and I am relaxing on the couch with the mail and my laptop. I'm going to work on my article for a bit then put on my jammies. Who says routine is boring? You know what's boring? Blindness, electric shocks up my spine, pain, random tingling, headaches, mind-numbing fatigue, and IV steroid infusions. That is very, very boring and I need to do what is in my power to prevent the symptoms from returning in full force.

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