Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Are you FR%&*EN Kidding Me??????


Ok. Anyone who has spent even a day outside of work with me knows that I love iced coffee. Winter, spring, summer, fall...I need my iced coffee. I would guess that many of my friends would be able to tell you how I take my coffee: Large, regular flavor, extra skim milk and 2 Splenda. I try NOT to buy from Dunkin Donuts since they give way too much money to the Republican party, but the prevalence of DD drive-thrus on the South Shore makes it tough. I go to my favorite non-DD drive-thru whenever I am in North Weymouth. My nickname for Coffee Express is the Slutty Mary Lou's because it is the antithesis of another South Shore coffee place that features wholesome, beautiful, blond women in pink clothes. Coffee Express, on the other hand, has almost all brunettes working there, who wear black and exude sex...to everyone, women, men, children. They are just sexy women. Not the teasy kind that you get at Mary Lou's. These women look like they like their not-perfect bodies and know how to have a good time. (I mean no insult at all by this nickname. I am, after all, a brunette woman with a not-perfect body, who also knows how to have a good time and never in my life have I been called a tease.)

So anyway, Coffee Express, Mary Lou's, DD, Starbucks...wherever I go, I get my iced coffee the same way: Large, regular flavor, Ken has even purchased a box of Splenda packets for his home so when I stay over his house I can have my coffee to my liking in the morning.

Well, I have just learned that Splenda and Equal (my preferred sweetener prior to the invention/availability of Spenda) may be, if not at the root of my MS, negative contributors to my MS symptoms. I repeat: ARE YOU FR%&*EN KIDDING ME?????!!!!!

Check it out: http://www.issplendasafe.com/top7reasons.html

I am doing a lot of reading about nutrition and MS, particularly since I am taking these HEAVY DUTY meds that, after just 2 self-injected doses, make me have chemical-smelling night sweats. I feel the need to balance that out with something healthy and natural. Anyway, I am finding out that I may need to give up gluten and sugar (I am already ALMOST dairy free--beside the skim milk in my FR#&%EN coffee).

I am not there yet, but I am GETTING willing. I am in the research phase, reading and talking to people about transitioning to a totally different diet to make sure I am doing all that I can do to be symptom and side effect free from MS and the meds so I can live a long healthy life as Ruby and Zane's mommy and a woman in my own right.

So, ok. I'm getting there. I even started picturing using next Saturday and Sunday, when the kids are with John to clean out the cupboards and restock them with gluten free, dairy free, and sugar free healthy foods. And, now this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????? What the h%## am I going to put in my coffee?

I already feel like this MS makes me not me, but this is the last straw! I have to give up my feeling of invincibility, I have to give up my sense of physical well being. I have to give up some of my eyesight for cryin' out loud! I have to give up SO MUCH WITH THIS GD MS AND NOW I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY ICED COFFEE WITH SPLENDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????

While I'm ranting...have I mentioned my newest symptom of the jabs in the right butt cheek??? You know how you get a splinter or a sliver or a pricker or something stuck in your clothing and you can feel it poking you? Well, I have that feeling on and off in my right butt cheek but there is nothing there???!!!! It feels so real that yesterday I changed my pants and underwear three times convinced that my ongoing optic neuritis was keeping me from seeing whatever was poking me. After a couple hours, it occurred to me it might be one of the lovely brain/nerve tricks that MS likes to play on me. So, I posted something to an MS sites I visit at dailystrength.com and, sure enough, others had the same thing in various body parts.

Ok. I'm done now. Ohmmmm. Shanti-ohm, shanti-ohm....

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