Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's Day Sugar Hangover

I have a BAD hangover today...a sugar hangover. I had a slip yesterday. was more of an avalanche, actually.

It started out innocently enough. Zane was still home sick so, after dropping Ruby at school in the morning, I went to the DD drive-thru to get an iced coffee to get me going for my day of working at home while catering to the needs of a 4-year old with a croupy cough and a fever. "Large Iced Coffee with Extra, Extra Skim Milk and NO sugar" I declared to the microphone on the raspberry colored post leading up to the little kiosk.

I proceeded to the window, paid my money, and retrieved my iced coffee. I drove away quickly as I always do because I don't want to make the next person wait any longer than necessary to get their morning java. I didn't take the wrapper off the straw and insert it into my beverage until I had already left the parking lot. Uh-oh. There was so much sugar in the coffee that it was literally crunchy. For about 30 seconds I considered turning my car around and going through the drive-thru again to ask for a new coffee. It was pouring rain and I didn't want to get wet again unrolling the window to order and then pick up my coffee. "Na," I thought. It won't kill me.

Famous last words. I think, after 44 days with no sugar, it set something off inside of me. All day long, I craved sugar. I eventually succumbed when I decided it was time to make Valentine's Day brownies and cupcakes for the kids' classrooms and for a work bake sale to benefit homeless families. I licked the spoon on the brownie batter. On the cupcake batter, I licked the spoon and the bowl, too. When the brownies came out of the oven, I ate all the gooey parts that stuck to the knife when I cut the tray into squares. Then there was the frosting--white and pink--and the candy hearts. By 11pm, I stopped the charade. I took the opened bag of candy conversation hearts to bed with me and finished them off.

I feel like a piece of unidentifiable, gooey and crusty gunk stuck to the bottom of a dumpster. My head aches, my vision is blurry, my legs are weak, and I feel as if I didn't sleep a wink. Is it MS? Is it the sugar? Is it the MS on sugar? Is this just reinforcement that I'm doing the right thing being OFF of sugar?

It's kind of cruel to be on Day One of no sugar again on Valentine's Day. I received a box of chocolate hearts from an agency I work with; there is still another unopened bag of those pure sugar candy hearts at home; and there was the bake sale downstairs from my office (that I contributed to but did not attend). The kids will, no doubt, come home with treats, too. Temptation is EVERYWHERE!

Well, maybe I'm supposed to love myself this Valentine's Day by realizing and accepting that I am just not a "moderation" kind of gal and that sugar might taste great in my mouth but it hurts my whole body later.

I bought a sexy (sugar-free) gift for Ken that we will not get to enjoy until the kids go with John on Saturday night. I'm actually thrilled we have no child care tonight because I am too sick with the sugar hangover to truly enjoy my bald hot boyfriend. I am stopping by his house after work and praying really hard he doesn't give me candy.

Happy Valentines Day, Everyone! I receive an email from a friend that included really funny (and really offensive) rejected Valentine's Day greeting card sentiments. I will leave you with my favorites:

Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

No comments:

Post a Comment