Speechless and Tim

I have laryngitis. My worst nightmares usually include scenes of impending danger or violence where I have no voice. I open my mouth to scream and nothing comes out. I hope no one chases me today and I don't need to call for help. I also hope my sugar addiction isn't set off by the soothing tea with honey I'm drinking.

In the past, when I've lost my voice, it's usually connected to a loss. I'm not sure if that's true this time. If it is a loss, which one is it that is taking my voice? Loss of my condo? Loss of my perception of invincibility? Partial loss of eyesight? But why now? Why not last fall when I was diagnosed with MS? Why not last month when I did the financial inventory and came up very short in the housing column? Maybe it's just a cold. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Tim is home without oxygen. His breathing is better but they are still unsure of what caused his atypical pneumonia symptoms. It may be his heart so he has to see a cardiologist. This doesn't scare Christina and it definitely doesn't scare me. I have an ex-brother in law who seems to use open heart surgery how some people say women use abortions for birth control. (I find it very difficult to believe that a woman would rather get sedated and have her uterus vacuumed or scraped clean instead of popping a pill, inserting a diaphram, or dealing with the discomfort that the first few days of an IUD bring, but some pro-lifers insist it is true.)

Neal smokes, drinks, eats like crap, and doesn't exercise. Every few years, he has a hard attack and they either blow all the gunk out of his arteries or they open up his chest and fix the blockage.Tim does not smoke, eats ok, and gets exercise. I am expecting and hoping that, whatever caused his breathing trouble, is a quick fix.