Wednesday, October 03, 2007
It's after midnight. I'm exhausted but can't sleep. I have a headache that feels like an elephant is sitting on my head. Optic neuritis? MS? Stress? Too much orange sherbet with dark chocolate chips?
I hate questioning everything. Do my legs hurt because the MS is affecting my motor functioning or because I'm getting old? Does my head ache because I didn't eat well today or because the MS is causing new lesions on my brain? Did I forget the name of a colleague today because I was just forgetful or because the MS is affecting my cognitive functioning? Some of the stuff is clear cut. Like my still not perfect vision in my right eye. I know that's MS. I know the electrical charges up my spine are MS.
I bought a Volvo yesterday! It's a wagon, not a KGB car but it is black and I love it! I still have to get the code for the stereo and/or get a new stereo and I have to get a manual for the car and figure out how to work the heat (the AC is ice cold but winter is coming!), but it is registered and insured (not necessarily a given with my history).
Do the advertisers really think that the people watching Friends at 2:45 are "hot, local, singles looking to chat with other hot, local, singles?" Just wondering...
I got my Rebif (MS Disease Modifying Treatment drug) accessory kit today that includes a travel bag, a syringe pen, an ice pack and a card, telling Airport security that I have MS, that I need continuous treatment, and that I always have to carry pre-filled injections, even on trips abroad. The meds arrive tomorrow but the nurse the pharmaceutical company sends can't come until Monday to show me how to give myself the shots 3x week. I am going to try to get into my PCP's office on Friday to see if someone there (preferably a nurse) can show me how. I could just follow the drawings in the kit but what if I have an allergic reaction or something and I'm all alone? I'm anxious to get started because I want the positive effects (it's supposed to send me into remission rather dramatically if it works). I'm also nervous because it might bring on flu symptoms at the start. Here's a picture of my injector pen:
My lumbar puncture isn't until 9/24. I either have time to forget about it, time to get anxious about it, or time to relax. Hmmmm. I guess it's my choice. For today, I am choosing to relax. Here's a picture of a spinal tap:
I thought Spinal Tap was the name of a band...or was it a pretend band...?
Oh, there's more big news! As I write this, Zane is sleeping in underpants (and hopefully staying dry) for the third night in a row! I walk him to the bathroom before I go to bed (which is hysterical because he pees but doesn't wake up) and he is so proud of himself with dry sheets in the morning!
Oh--I'm thinking of trading the Buick and/or the minivan for either Red Sox playoff tix (on Craigslist Barters) or carpet or housecleaning and laundry services. I'm working on the details. Way to work the MS gift, eh?
I should go to bed but I'm afraid to go in there, lie down and have sleep evade me. Or, what if I do fall asleep and then I'm too exhausted to get out of bed in the morning?
Now it's after 1am and Will and Grace is on. Peace
Posted by Julie M. Baker at 12:36 AM