Friday, May 08, 2009

Denial is Fading

I have an appointment with my neurologist next week to discuss the results of my latest MRI series. I realized today that I am NOT secretly expecting she's going to tell me there was a really big mistake and I don't have MS.  

That's a first. Usually, with each appointment I am absolutely positive that I will leave there, head reeling, but MS-free, feeling kind of sheepish and stupid that I made a big deal out of nothing.

Nope. I still have MS. Feeling pretty good, though. I have sensation in all my extremities, have pretty good energy level (no mandatory napping when I suddenly start nodding over my computer), no MS hugs, or leg pain.

I am, however, very sad, but trying to keep all that non-MS emotional crapolla on my other blog. 


  1. Denial does fade, I do not know what the next phase is, but I am sure you will deal with it fine.

  2. Julie--I was keeping up with this blog. I didn't realize that you had two. Funnily enough, I was in major meltdown mode yesterday and started writing in my blog. Positive Positive Positive.
    Where do I put the negative? Keeping two blogs will be too much for me to handle, but I think it's smart if I make sure I let my readers know that I'm human and feel pain. Julie---I've had some extreme moodiness lately, and I know some of it is environmental. But I wonder if some of it has to do with MS and the drugs.

  3. Glad you are physically ok. I think the emotional stuff does probably relate on at least some levels to MS. I think MS can make every other thing that comes our way seem monumental.

  4. Hi Julie,
    I'm Kiesha and stumbled upon your blog while doing research about ms. My body has just recently starting doing crazy things and I have had tingling and numbness in my whole body before but it only last a few days, that went on for years. But just recently I have losted control over my body, almost as if it is turning on me. My face goes numb, I have tremors and I could go on and on.
    I'm trying to find another doctor, these really bad episodes started in april and haven't really went completly away.
    Anyway I would really like to talk to someone who has ms just to see if our symptoms are similiar, how you got your diagnosis and that kind of thing.
    No prob, if you would not want to do that.
    You can check my blog out by clicking on my name and my email is
    Thanks for taking the time to read this.
    Hope to talk with you soon.

  5. After almost 6, 7, or 8 years (can't remember exactly when I was diagnosed.)I am still waiting to hear that they have made a mistake and I don't really have MS. Every new doctor I see I wait, and wait. I know I have fatigue, I have vision problems, had optic neuritis in my left eye, I have some problems walking, have major cognitive issues, yet I wait. What diagnosis am I waiting for? I'm not sure what explains all this but I guess MS is as good as any diagnosis.
    Hey, I'm going to use this as the first post on my Are you kidding me blog.. woohoo:)