Monday, February 09, 2009

What the Hell is Private Pain?

I don't think I have always been an exhibitionist. I did visit a nude beach quite often one summer in college but everyone else there was naked, too, so that doesn't really count. I never streaked or flashed or had sex in a public place...not that I remember, anyway.

But that's not really the kind of exhibitionism I'm talking about. My name is Julie and I'm an emotional exhibitionist. I don't know how to feel anything intense without telling the world. Except, that it's not always appropriate. I rarely give a shit about that sort of thing but sometimes it's about other people. If my inappropriate over-sharing drags another person into the realm of over-sharing without their consent, is that fair?

But it's my blog. I have the disclaimer in a sidebar about people who know me running the risk of showing up here so, in a court of law, I'd probably be covered. But what about other people's feelings? Is is, after all, not all about me. So, I write in abstract and feel like I'm drinking near beer or decaf or I let it rip and possibly cause pain or embarrassment to people I love.

So, there's the dilemma. And how does one have a dilemma without tweeting, updating Facebook status, and blogging about it? I have real friends to, who I actually speak to on the phone and see in person. I've been talking to them often the last several days. That is no longer enough.

How do other bloggers/writers handle this problem? Do you have a separate, secret, unlinked blog to share the real dirt? Do you revert back to writing in Word or even with pen and paper? Do you just say "screw it" and put it all down for the world to see, read, and judge...even when it's not just you that will be judged? Do you create fictional characters that represent you and the other real people? Do you practice restraint of tongue and pen and simple talk out loud to those you can trust?

I feel like my writing is my release.What I express here is my authentic self. How do I put that back in the can? I don't know how.


  1. Julie,
    That is a dilemma. By reading others' blogs, I have learned not to specifically name doctors, insurance carriers and when referring to friends or family, either first initials or names are used. Of course, most of my friends and family don't read my blog. ;)

    My husband does read it, and we did have a discussion about one of my posts. It actually led to some understanding.

    I hope you figure it out!


  2. My Blog life is only known to me and my partner. I have to have that separate release that's only for me! I am linked with one of my friend's blogs that is very public and she shares with everyone... and I think a known person has found my blog - but they're staying private and giving me my space. I have FB and that is my public life. That's my personal choice - you do what you're comfortable with - screw everyone else!!! (just figuratively of course!!) LOL

  3. It's a balance. I am honest about my own vulnerabilities and failures but I leave my issues with others out of the blog. If I must vent I keep private entries on my own personal computer. I totally here you about the over-expressing... It's in my nature but I try to supress it a bit now but it can be trying.