Saturday, August 23, 2008

Kidless, Guilty, Jealous, and Lazy

Ruby and Zane go on vacation with their dad for one week a year. Sort of.

They left this morning and Zane will be back next Friday. Because Ruby starts school on Wednesday, she'll come home Tuesday so she can spend the night in her own bed and have me take her to her new school the first day. I still haven't heard back from Mr. X about whether or not he plans to pick her up from school the first day and take her to school the next day so I have no idea if her break from the Daddy-cation will be one day, two days, or more. Zane's first day of Kindergarten isn't until after Labor Day. I'm starting to feel a little teary about my former preemie starting school but that's another post.

The kids are thrilled to be going on Daddy-cation which will include visiting their Aunt and Uncle's house in Ogunquit, Maine and taking a day trip to Water Country.

I love that they are going to have such a fun time. I love that they get to do things like Water Country. I know that I am NOT competing with Mr. X, which is a very good thing. 'Cause I would probably lose. I do fun things with the kids (we built castles and tunnels at the beach just yesterday), but I don't have the budget for expensive theme parks. I am also the one who is responsible for day-to-day discipline and molding of appropriate behavior which means I don't always say "yes" to the ice cream or allow temper tantrums. In other words, I am ALMOST ALWAYS the bad cop.

I love Ruby and Zane very much and anyone who knows me can confirm that they are the most important people in my life. I would gladly block them from a bus or a bullet (if they were careening toward them, that is--I'm not suicidal).

I also know that Ruby and Zane love me. I'm Mommy. I'm always there, no matter what. But I am probably not the one who will take them to Disney for the first time (or at all) and I read price tags before I say "yes" to almost any purchase.

I yell more than I would like and more than I should but I always apologize, confess to a committee member, and try to come up with strategies to avoid the same reaction next time.

I try to be a good mom every day but some days I do better than others. Today, being a good mom meant packing them to leave for a week and kissing them goodbye. And now, I'm taking care of ME which apparently means saving spoons by watching HGTV and writing before I go to a meeting and to sleep over at Bald Hot Ken's Love Palace.


  1. Have fun with hot, bald Ken. Kid-free time is my favorite. I of course have no kids but I'm a teacher...

  2. that must be so hard to let them go. you are a wonderful caring and loving mom. i am glad to see you posting again.

  3. I second the fact that it's good to see you posting again.

    You ARE a good Mom! When the kiddos are all grown up many moons from now, they will realize all that you did for them.

    Hope your kiddos love their new schools and kindergarten rocks!

  4. Awwww. My blog reader friends are so nice to me. :-) I have had a wonderful second day without the kids that included a meeting, coffee with my friend Diane, and a UU gathering. Then I came home and watched that dumb Mel Brooks movie where he can read women's minds. I'm happy but I still miss them. I missed their call when I was in the basement and jerky Mr.X isn't answering the phone when I called back to say goodnight...again and again. I will trust that Ruby and Zane are well and having fun and I will get to talk to them tomorrow.
    Happy Sunday night everyone!
    Lazy J

  5. Where did you and the kiddies go for vacation this summer?

  6. Even Superwoman had her "off days". The mere fact that you would even need to write this post shows what a good Mommy you really are; one who cares about each link of the chain, not just the smallest ones. Our single parent family units are only as strong as we are, yet we seem to put us last.

    As for recalling emails - the Now culture has a lot to answer for. I mean, think about the Caveman. By the time he chiseled the message in suitable stone, he'd have forgotten what it was he wanted to say.

    Like I have. MS has a lot to answer for!