Who Keeps Moving My Chair?

Do you know how people say, "I was so shocked that I almost fell out of my chair!"

Well, I did. Fall out of my chair, that is. Not once, but twice and shock had nothing to do with it.

The first time was a couple weeks ago at Ken's house. It was a rolling desk chair and I was in the process of sitting down. It was kind of a slow motion thing that ended with my ass on the floor. I thought maybe his desk chair wheels were faster-moving than what I was used to or that he had recently waxed his hardwood floors. Uh-uh. Apparently, it was me. Ken was right there and, although he seemed surprised by my lack of grace, he didn't seem overly concerned with the cause. So, I decided to forget all about it.

Until it happened again.

A week or so later, I repeated the whole thing while sitting down at my desk chair at work. One minute, I was lowering myself into the chair. The next I was on the floor. I work at a very casual office and my office attire usually consists of jeans and a sweater or a blouse and a jacket. On this particular day, I decided to dress up a bit. I'm not sure why, perhaps to give my coworkers a show when I landed on the floor.

I had on a fitted chocolate brown sweater and a straight leather, knee length skirt with an earthtone patchwork design. Thank GOD I was wearing pretty thick, chocolate brown tights and tall boots. Nevertheless, I was rolling around on the floor, in a skirt, trying to get up when I heard my coworker in a nearby cube say, "OH MY GOD! What happened? Are you all right?"
It was kind of hard to blow it off in this setting. First of all, there was a carpeted floor and it was the same chair that I'd been sitting in since I started working there last April.

So, it seems that I have a new MS symptom to add to the list. Falls out of chairs. I'm imagining it's balance related. All I know is that it definitely left a mark--on my ass and my ego.

When I discussed the second fall with Ken, he reminded me about the first fall and I thought Uh-Oh. He also proceeded to give me chair-sitting instructions complete with chimed in advice from his 13-year old son. "You have to reach back with your hand and hold on to the chair, making sure you are looking at your seat before you attempt to sit down," they explained, as if I ws a little slow or had recently suffered a head injury.

I found this all incredibly amusing since I have been sitting down on my own for quite some time, at least 42 out of my 44 years, I would imagine. I didn't know that there were rules to sitting and that, if I violated these rules, I might end up on my ass.

When I pointed out the humor in this advice, Ken clarified, saying that because I'm having eyesight and balance issues, there are new rules.

New rules? Why wasn't I notified? Where's my copy of these new rules? If I'm expected to obey the rules, shouldn't I have an opportunity to study them and challenge the rule makers?

Will there be any other new rules coming my way? Should I give up sitting in chairs with wheels? Or, should I stop wearing skirts and start wearing a crash helmet?