So, here I am with so many things to say that I don't know what to say first. Maybe I'll follow the example of my old co-worker Jason who writes blog posts about what he wants to write about just to get the ideas down for future reference.
- I want to write about a guy named Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, who decided to help as many people as possible, fulfill their childhood dreams before he died of terminal pancreatic cancer. He had a great line in his Last Lecture about choosing to be a Tigger or an Eeyore. I am most definitely a Tigger.
- I want to write about how scared I feel whenever I see an older woman walking with a cane or a walker and how I have to fight the urge to go up and ask her if she has MS.
- I want to write about how all my New Year's resolutions have gone to shit and how I'm eating sugar on a regular basis, occasionally putting Splenda in my iced coffee, eating red meat and pork every now and then, not doing yoga or any exercise (except if you count athletic sex), "forgetting" to take my shots, and staying up way too late on a regular basis. What's that about and how the heck to I get on the beam? I'm thinking I can get a jump start this week when the kids will be vacationing with their dad. Well, part of the week anyway but I'm not wasting a bullet on him.
- I want to write about how I wish I could be a full-time freelance writer who can work outside on a laptop, take Wordscrapter breaks, and take a nap in the middle of the afternoon.
- I want to write about why some people stay sober and others don't and why I have been the former even when I do almost everything wrong.
- I want to write about anger and how I seem to express it a lot in a less-than-mature way to my 9 going on 19-year old who is DEFINITELY on the brink of puberty. I'm a pacifist and I do NOT hit my kids but I yell way too much and lately I'm swearing while yelling sometimes. I really, really don't want to repeat the pattern I had with my own mother. She and I are...well, let's just say, if I was famous, the National Enquirer would do a spread on Lazy Julie's own personal Mommy Dearest. I know Ruby and I do NOT have that relationship and I am NOT my mother. As I write this, Ruby is hugging my arm while we watch the Cheetah Girl movie on Disney. It's actually pretty good, too, since it was filmed in India, which is a place I really, really want to visit. Zane is with us on the couch in our new family room, picking his nose whenever I look away. I am a good mom but I am not perfect...for sure.